literature

We Need People Like You

Deviation Actions

WaKip's avatar
By
WaKip
Published:
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Literature Text

Please lend them your compassion
For this world of ours is cold
Kindness doesn't go out of fashion
And it never gets old
We really could use a bit more kind, compassionate people. I don't even need to ask if you agree, because I KNOW you do.
FEEDBACK TIME:
-How was the flow?
-Rhymes? How were they?
-Was it set up well?
-Opinion?
CRITIQUE:[link]
© 2011 - 2024 WaKip
Comments12
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moondrums's avatar
moondrums
The flow was good, but the third line sounds a bit awkward, maybe because there's an extra syllable?
I think the rhymes were great. Rhyming "compassion" and "fashion" was really unexpected and i liked it.
I like that the title spoke straight to me; it really drew me in.
Overall, the shortness and sweetness of it really gives it a big impact. I like it a lot, good work! :heart: