ShopDreamUp AI ArtDreamUp
literature
Literaturical
Deviation Actions
Literature Text
I'm being lazy
My mind is hazy
I'm not sure what to write
My friends try to assist
"Your poems are so missed!
Its not like the keyboard will bite.."
They don't understand
My brains just so bland
I wish blocks were easy to fight
..but if they weren't ever there
Then mark my words I swear...
Inspiration wouldn't be such a delight.
My mind is hazy
I'm not sure what to write
My friends try to assist
"Your poems are so missed!
Its not like the keyboard will bite.."
They don't understand
My brains just so bland
I wish blocks were easy to fight
..but if they weren't ever there
Then mark my words I swear...
Inspiration wouldn't be such a delight.
Comments18
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
I think you could really improve your flow by revising the rhythm of your stanzas. For example, stanza three has a good rhythm - "they DON'T un-derSTAND / my BRAIN'S just so BLAND" and you have a constant pattern of unstressed, stressed, unstressed, unstressed, stressed. What I suggest you do is extend that rhythm pattern to the other stanzas - because, for instance, "I'M be-ing LAzy / my cre-a-TI-vi-ty is HA-zy" doesn't match up as well in terms of rhythm.
Yes, it made sense. The font is fine, but personally I prefer to use plain text and let the words stand out by themselves.
Good job!
Yes, it made sense. The font is fine, but personally I prefer to use plain text and let the words stand out by themselves.
Good job!